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This is a collection of quotes regarding the various Groups of Interest of the Foundation Universe. These quotes are meant to capture the "spirit" of each GoI, or failing that, be intriguing and highlight a certain aspect of the group in question. If you want a quote to be added, or feel like a quote is inappropriate and should be removed, contact me, mlistermlister, over wikidot PM or IRC.

This is a companion piece to Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini's GoI essay, and should hopefully give you some inspiration for writing GoI's.

The Foundation

Mankind must not go back to hiding in fear. No one else will protect us, and we must stand up for ourselves.

While the rest of mankind dwells in the light, we must stand in the darkness to fight it, contain it, and shield it from the eyes of the public, so that others may live in a sane and normal world.

We secure. We contain. We protect.

-About the SCP Foundation

Yes, we had D-class back then. Disposables. That's where the D comes from. Had to have someone to test things on.

-Bright's Proposal

In the beginning, it was just about discovery, about finding the things we could do. We had such high hopes, such plans. We were going to change the world. We were going to save it from itself. We could feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, heal the sick and dying.

-Mann's Proposal

For them to be able to do so, you will be required to make the ultimate sacrifice- you must relinquish your identity. You were made to secure, and we are asking you to trust in the unproven. You were made to contain, and we are asking you to release. You were meant to protect, and we are asking you to leave the world vulnerable. It is an impossible request, this we know. But you must fulfill it if there is to be any hope for us.

-Djoric-Dmatix Proposal

Thirteen asked me if what we worked to preserve was ever natural. What a stupid question. What does it matter if the world we enabled was unnatural? It was better than what waits for us.

-Kalinin's Proposal

Anomaly and normalcy — both are subject to the consensus. Today's anomaly might have been yesterday's normality, and vice versa.

Thus, remember these. Consensus has value, and to be normal is to abide by the consensus.

-Wrong Proposal

We can't let that happen. Yes, go ahead, point out that we're isolating you at least as well, slowly consuming you and your existence just as surely as some abuser might wish to burn you up. Call us monsters. It's okay. But keep in mind that even in our pursuit of you, our coverup, our incarceration of you, we still want to make sure that you continue to exist, that you aren't removed entirely from this world. You have every right to exist. You have every right to be as different as you are.

-WJS Proposal

They talk about necessary evil these days. Like that's always been the case. But I always thought… at the very beginning, I believed that we would be an objective good. I sincerely believed that. I know that a lot of things were — are — necessary, but this…

-Tanhony's Proposal

Modernity in the form of you. Your lot came first. You came into being to lock away, classify, pin down everything that didn't fit into your philosophy of Enlightenment rationality. Everything had to be understood, contextualised, transformed from faerie and godhood into simple, comprehensible chunks of logic and matter.

-Tufto's Proposal

It feels like it's important, doesn't it? To mold everything around you into easily understandable shapes[…] And so you keep on drawing patterns across the universe to keep the howling madness of your surroundings at bay.

-Jim North's Proposal

We affirm that we are the original, true Foundation. We represent mainline reality (the original, unaltered timeline). Our humanity must be held paramount over the humanity of any inhabitants of "mirror" timelines. The survival of mainline reality shall always be held paramount over the survival of any "mirror" timeline, or any other parallel or alternate universe. We are the Foundation, the bedrock on which all of reality rests. For the sake of us all, we cannot fail.

-WMDD's Proposal

O5-7: You’re accusing me of selling out?

O5-1: No, no. I’m accusing all of you of selling out, or being out for yourself or some shit. You’ve all gone soft. It used to be ”if it don’t make sense, throw it in a cage”. Now it's “let’s measure it, look into it, figure out what we know, then make sure it doesn’t bother anyone”. That’s not containment. That’s sitting idly and hoping the public doesn’t find it. My god, we’ve started outsourcing to pet shelters!

-Captain Kirby's Proposal

Then their civilization fell. And we did it. By 'we' I don't mean the Foundation. By 'we', I mean humanity.


We can only suspend God’s disbelief so many times before the universe just says “no”. And considering what we’ve had to deal with in these past few decades, we may have passed that point already.


It's no secret that what we're doing here is abhorrent. The Ethics Committee, the Classification Committee, they're all looking at ways to make this more tolerable than what it is.


We secure. We contain. Most importantly, we protect. We protect the world from anomalies, yes, but the inverse is equally true. GOC, Obskuracorps, Foundation—whatever name you align yourself with, if you choose death, you will be stopped. We made that choice once, and we will not see it repeated.


Worldwide, men and women who do not deserve the horror wreaked upon them will pause, confused, then resume their business, confident that this is the way it has always been, never knowing what they have lost. Only the photographs not affected by SCP-8900's taint will remain to tell the truth. I regret this, gentlemen. I regret it deeply.

It must be done.



I watched the world nearly die in a thousand thousand terrible ways. Sometimes we would have had time to scream.


I'm alive to write about it. You want happy endings? Fuck you.

You're alive to read it.

-black white black white black white black white black white gray

Let's say we find an infinitely huge wall of drawers.

Let's say we fill them up with every anomalous item, where they'll be perfectly content until the heat death of the Universe.

And let's say we still die screaming.

You want happy endings?

Fuck you.

You want sad endings?

Again, fuck you.

There are only endings.

-Re: You Want Happy Endings?

He said that they have to “reboot” things. Said they have the technology to recreate almost anything, and that making people is actually pretty easy. Said that they would clean out and contain things, rebuild the broken cities, and repopulate them[…] I told him he was nuts, that there was no way people could just forget, that this could all be just swept away. He stopped, looked at me, smiled, then said “Why not? It's been done before.”

-Document Recovered From The Marianas Trench

Because of the work that the SCP Foundation does, a lot of personnel think that the idea of the Foundation having an Ethics Committee is just a bad joke.

Remember this: the Foundation is not evil. We do not torture people "just because". We are against unnecessary cruelty. Which means somebody has to decide when cruelty is necessary.

The Foundation does not rule the world. The Foundation serves the world.

You've consoled yourself by thinking that all the torture and murder is for the greater good. This implies that there is a greater good… and a lesser good. It implies that there are multiple distinct goods, and that these can be quantified and compared.

-Ethics Committee Orientation

Look, you're new, so I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Everybody wants things to be simple. They want the world to make sense. Even the higher-ups. Sure, they know the world's fucked up, but they want it fucked up in a way they understand.

-Nobody Knows

While we could, we secured anomalies. When we were unable to do that anymore, at least we could contain the ones we already had, mining them for the most pitiful scraps of data we could extract. When we weren't able to do even that, we chose to do the one thing we were supposed to do. The one thing we intimately believed, in our core, to be right.

We protected them.

Humanity is the Foundation now. The Foundation is Humanity now. Extricating one from the other now would leave one limping to its deathbed and the other pointless.

Safe. Confined. Protected.

No matter how many may have screamed and kicked in the process.

I cannot stand that, in our zeal to protect humanity, we placed it in a box.

-Mission Statement

I had even just been handed my little employment pamphlet full of bullshit, like:

Why does the Foundation contain?

Because the alternatives are worse.

What is the purpose of the Foundation?

To protect and improve humanity.

But the Foundation— I knew this by now— wasn’t a fortress, it was a fly trap. It was huge and exotic and invisible and rotten to the core. All those other mysteries were just petals— distractions. Once you’re at the center of it, it’s plain as daylight.

-The Flytrap

Alexylva University



Have you ever tried to speak to a slave? Most of them are unable to understand anything outside their duties, and those few that are capable of conversation know nothing of the Classical philosophers.

The University has perfected this distinction. Thanks to our advancements in natural philosophy, no one need ever fear a slave or wife who has transgressed the bounds of orthoskepsi.

-Address to the Students and Faculty

Murdering your peers beforehand, while not technically against any rules, goes against the spirit of the election.
Similarly, negating the event of their birth should be looked down upon, though substantially less so.

-Empty Unmarked Grave

In the same sense that the soul pilots the meat ship that is the human body, I created a simple intelligence to pilot the circuits of this little guy.

-Anderson Robotics Hub

Return signal terminated. We’re better off keeping you where you are.
We’re sorry, #31.


“What’s his name Daddy?” The little girl inquired, her eyes were wide as she looked up at the tall droid standing motionless in front of her.

“Well, according to the directions Anderson gave us, its preprogrammed personality is called Hector, but we can call it anything you want sweetie,” James replied as he ruffled his daughter’s hair.

“What’s Hector mean?” She asked as she pulled away from her father’s hand.

“He was a great warrior. A defender of the city of Troy.”

“Is he a great warrior too?”

“It had better be after what I paid.”


Are we cool yet?

-Are We Cool Yet? Hub

Think outside the box!
Oh, wait. You can't.


You are not cool yet. Make better art.


Good morning, living earth. Good night, dead society.

These Foundation types catch on slow, don't they? They don't seem to appreciate our work much, either. Art tends to fly right over the head of tough guy types. Good thing they have a few like you in their ranks who can appreciate true creativity.

-Coming soon to a gallery near you

What is Life? what is Art? what is god? Now we pile upon the altar of art and ask our own question. Life is fleeting, Art is everything and nothing, and god is away.

-Notes towards a manifesto

I can not confirm or deny that I am being vague about this on purpose. Consider it part of the mystique of the art and artist.

We make fun of the outsiders because we create these things that don't make any fucking sense, like an enormous in-joke, then we laugh and pat each other on the back and jerk each other off about how cool we are.

Art, in its purest form, is the expression of something. A feeling, an emotion. Art without love or hate is not art, but mass-produced commercial garbage.

-Project Proposal 1994-357: "A Still Life"

"Are We Cool Yet?"
That was it?


“Three people have died from your exhibition.”
“They signed waivers.”

-wowwee go kill ursefl

"So I’m going to go ahead and do something a little… radical. Fuck randomness, fuck Dada, fuck all of it. It isn’t cool any more, that’s why nobody talks about us."

-A Cooler Manifesto

Look, there's more to this than just making a piece of art that kills people and then slapping our slogan on the end of it like some kind of punchline.

-The Critic

Feeling helpless is never a pleasant sensation, particularly when you're used to the feeling of being five steps ahead of everyone else in your world. Lashing out in the way that you did was understandable, if unfortunate.

Whatever ultimately becomes of your plans, I hope you will try and find us again. You're scared and confused, and probably angry. At one point, I was too. But we know you better than anyone else ever can. If you choose to stay, there is no limit to what we can do.

-Black Queen Hub

"No," said the other Alison, "and neither am I. This has all been built by us, for each other, with signs only we would see. I knew you'd find a way in."

-Queen's Gambit

I will find him. If only to sort everything out. And if I can't, at least I'll have found him. That must count for something, doesn't it?

I wonder if he still plays chess.

It only ends once I decide it does. Once I deliver the checkmate.

Too cheesy for my tastes, I think.

-Intro - Note: Charles Ogden Gears

Should intermittent vengeance arm again his red right hand to plague us?

-The logo

There will come a day when the secrets that the Foundation has tried to hide away will rise up from the shifting sands in glorious appearance, when the subjugated will break free from the bonds of their captors, and when the march of progress will no longer be impeded by those who would huddle around their fires, swatting at the ever growing shadows. On that day, the Foundation will be cast aside, and all that will remain is purpose.

Do you hear the Black Moon howling, 13? You will, soon.

Vive l'insurrection

-Djkaktus Proposal I

We came up with that term, "Chaos Insurgency", by the way. They co-opted it; they're good at co-opting things.

The Council claims to act in the best interests of the Foundation, of Humanity. How can this be when the Council does not answer to the rank and file of this organization, much less Mankind at large?

But darkness itself is not evil: Science is amoral, and Knowledge is Power.

The universe can at once appear welcoming and hostile, teeming with secrets and threats, full of knowledge and riches to be had but harsh and unforgiving. As always, Humanity is and will be tested. As always, Humanity must meet the challenges before it as we have met every other. We must be the Vanguard, holding the torch of illumination and leading the masses forward.

We, the Foundation and Mankind, not only can do this, but must, if we are to survive, and not just survive, but better ourselves and flourish, that Humanity can claim its rightful place as Master over Nature and Extraordinary.

Let us wage a war of fleas. We bite, leap, and bite again.

We shall be agents of chaos, setting the world on fire, not to watch it burn, but to exhaust the fire brigade.

-Briefing on SLATE THUNDER

Oh, the name? We are a small force against the tide of impossibility, and this small force seeks to create logic out of illogic.

-Welcome to the Future

When folks ask where I studied, I just laugh at them. I don't believe in formal education. I never spent a day in a classroom, yet I'm one of the most successful men in this city.

What the schoolmasters don't tell you is that genius is something you're born with.

I can't give you a scientific explanation for how we perform the miracles we do, but then again, nobody else can, either.

In my business, me and the Ivy League boys are equal in everything—everything, that is, except power. That's something I have plenty of.

-GOI-001: Chicago Spirit

I didn't get as far as I did in the business by entertaining every damn fool idea someone brings up to me. I got here by being careful[…] We've got a golden goose, and just because the goose isn't studded with diamonds doesn't mean we need to go rob a jewellry store.


Know this: when you joined this organization, you gave more than just your life to us. You may think death is your ultimate respite when you decide you've finally had enough. And it will be, if we allow it.

-Carroll #332: The Snitch Dungeons

The smith answers only to God, for his hands repair His body.

Cast in the Design of God, We Faithful.

Individuality is the file system through which our Lord is compiled.

-Church of the Broken God Hub

The Design is not that of the Mind, but of a much simpler Truth which Man in his small wisdom can attain.

-The Broken Mind

He who Standardizes the Brain in such a way as to reduce the Efficient Production of Thought is truly a Servant of The FLESH.

-Volume 21.01.A-01: Of the Five Pillars of the Standardization of Thought

Our worst fears have been realised. We are beset on all sides by heresy and the iniquities of the Flesh. But our God is a draftsman. Our God is an architect. Our God standardizes.

-Variations on a Schema

The lightning is my hammer, the Earth my anvil, the sand my ingot.


“O, mighty Lord, what has become of thy body? Why have you been undone?” The Lord said unto me “Go, and restore me to glory, and I shall restore you in turn”

-CotBG Bible Fragments

The Church of the Second Hytoth

All Ortothans hear, all Ortothans must listen now. [Unknown Symbol 30] Stars lost. [Unknown: A Unit of Time?] ago the First Invasion occurred. The gods were unprepared, never comprehending the fragility of the universe after its creation.


Ponder what occurs when a human loses blood. They become light headed, they become weak, they faint. When one ascends from mortal to god, you keep some part of your mortal form. The Koru-teusa kept their blood, yet it would leak.


[Unknown Symbol 16] helping. The Holies receive the blood. [Unknown Symbol 16] bleeds (forever?).


Rakmou-leusan has killed [Unknown Symbol 104] of Voruteut invaders. The universe continues to be preserved. Bleed into the holy body of Rakmou-leusan. Bleed for the universe.


“When your world is down and you’re needing escape,
Know in your head is a Wonderful place”

-Dr. Wondertainment Hub

It's a small but important voice in my head that speaks to me with a child-like sense of awe and curiosity. And when it looks out at everything I've done and everything that I am, it smiles, laughs brightly, and asks "But what are you going to be next?"

-Jim North's Proposal

Agent Jovahgo: […]Why does he need outside help? Why involve kids at all?


We both commend your Wondertainment Brand-Loyalty™, and condemn your Wondertainment Cat-Killing-Curiosity™.


We seek to make people smile, and give people a reason to be happy, if only for a short time.


Kids just didn’t buy toys anymore. They were too busy playing those horrible video games, which rotted the brain and promoted all sorts of unwholesome things like murder, foul language, and microtransactions.

-Assistance for the Boss Lady

Who first looked up?

Who first loved?

Who held the first child?

It was I.

It was I.

It was I.

-Memories of Days Long Past

We are certain of only one thing:
Everybody was once a child.

-Vend-a-Friend Hub

Doctorates can be inherited with enough imagination.

-Miss Heir

"What’s more important, you or what you’ve built?"

"I’m… not Dr. Wondertainment."
"But you are wonderful."

-I Am Wonderful

Into a new world the Barons creep,
And as her workers slowly weep,
Fuel is drained from limbs and blood,
Her vision of this world is stained by mud,
Walls built in err of their time,
And bricks wrought of sin and grime.

-Factory Hub

Survivors claim the floor was engraved with arcane symbols, that were only visible when blood flowed across them… But then again the survivors claimed a lot of things.

We thought we had the Factory tamed. That's one of the reasons I refuse to quit this job. If there's anything I can do here, it's remind people that we will NEVER tame these things.

-Bright's Proposal

you cooperate you defect you organize you destroy
you use
factory only provides


"We have long awaited for this! The world will be that of producer and consumer and those who refuse will be industrialized. We are to fulfill our destiny and become one with the free market…
Gentlemen, I do declare: The Factory is back in business!"




Staff reminder: Elder Foremen dislike their existence being acknowledged. Doing so may put your employment at risk. Do not risk your employment.

We would like to thank Worker Jesse Lenz for taking the initiative in doing this difficult task. Once his remains are secreted from Elder Foreman Steve Al'uth, we would love to offer him new employment in a management position. Taking initiative like this is exactly the kind of behavior we need in our managers.

During Daniel's interview, SCP Foundation Employee Susan Weiss-Hardoff let her nerves get the better of her and attempted to remove herself from the interview process through the use of a firearm. However, since she was already so far in the hiring process, The Factory kept the wound from negatively impacting her interview.

-Recruitment Drive (R-28126)

You and me
Should take a trip across the galaxy
And feel the breaking waves of our own energy
And everything will come together

What makes them Fifthist? Patterns, signals, magic. The unpossible. A Fifthist concept will slowly transcend reality. When that concept blossoms, it falls, like ripened fruit brother, o’ to be consumed and shat by the lord glowing hands himself. It becomes reality. We see the Fifth world, brother. And we too shall fall, like the the ekpyrotic house before us, and shat as they were.

We got money to raise! Get outta my face! Join me in outer space! Roll that frog footage! Light those candles! Send check or money order to World 390, so that our corpses may bloat and explode, and from that heaping viscera we will rise again as pungent, fungent fumes!

-Fifthist Hub

Did you know that some stars in the sky are dead, but we still see their ancient image?

It’s a blank slot waiting for you to fill it up with your deepest desire until your deepest desire is pushing up into your throat. You will gag on your need. And until you do, it is a resonation space, for you to build your will like organ music in a cathedral.

In your current society, you are encouraged to “be yourself”, as if this is the key to making your desires real. What does that mean? It doesn’t mean anything. You can’t be anyone other than yourself. If you were to be someone else, you would still be “you”, and “you” would be someone who is someone else. There is no getting out from under existence.

Stars may die in threes, but worlds die in fives.


A slumbering King rests dead in the water. Fractured into five pieces, he shuffles through an eternal nightmare; an usurper has claimed his throne. But he is not fully unconscious. The Fifth King has set his sights onto this world, and will burn the earth with an undying flame.


Sic Semper Cannabis

-The logo

What is Gamers Against Weed?
jockjamsvol6: Just some regular folks having a good time with their friends.

polaricecraps: gay

gaycopmp4: memeloving fucks

bluntfiend: It's something to bring a little light into the world, without anyone getting hurt.

lesbian_gengar: nice try, officer.

-Gamers Against Weed Hub

kkrule: i just want to help bernie win


Look, what to do you want me to say? That it's a symbol of guns making the world worse or something? Not everything has some grand purpose man. It's just something I thought of while smoking.


The sculptor sculpted, and I burnt. People like me, I see why you wanna lock us up sometimes. I really fucking do, buddy.


warysue: she's dead and I'm the Only One trying to do something about it


polaricecraps: I killed a Nazi and I feel dead and I don't know what to do

-Sometimes It's Not Funny

To those of you who would do harm to humanity, I say this: the Global Occult Coalition stands ready to defend humanity against all foes. Whether it likes it or not.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: That this Global Occult Coalition shall be placed under the independent Aegis of the United Nations, and that such an organization shall be provided whatever resources necessary in perpetua, and that said organization shall be given the authority to use any means necessary to maintain the peace.

-GOC Hub

Prior to the Coalition getting their hands on this, it was perfectly harmless. A chair which teleports to you when you need a seat is normal compared to most of the stuff that we deal with on a regular basis. When they put it through a woodchipper, it got hurt, scared and angry, so it lashed out at them. By trying to 'protect the world' by destroying it, they inadvertently made the situation a whole lot worse.


KTE-0937-Velveteen is an object lesson in the importance of following proper operating procedure. Due to the lack of vigilance by the agent on the scene, the object's threat level was escalated, the object itself was not successfully disposed of, and it has since fallen into the hands of a hostile agency. A single failure by a single operative resulted in the deaths of six. Remember this the next time you think about cutting corners.

-Excerpts from PHYSICS Division Threat Entity Database

3410 terminated by small arms fire at close range, body removed and incinerated as per standard procedures. Guess the fucker can't stop bullets fast enough if you're in his face, but I can't do anything about the bullet now.


1) You are expendable.
2) You are not disposable.
3) Knowledge is power.
4) Don't question it, just accept it.
5) You are only human.
6) Never work alone.

-Excerpts from PHYSICS Division Field Manual 1: Operative's Handbook

Anyway, it went pitch dark. The Gocks were apparently fully aware of this ability, a fact I mention only as a curiosity what you might mention to your erstwhile colleagues in intel. They had night vision goggles, and seemed to feel they were fully equipped to deal with said skip. I can only speculate based on their screaming that they were not briefed on its vulnerability to silver. So, y'know, some things are universal.

-GOIng My Way

During the second world war, hundreds of thousands of bombs fell on occupied Europe. Many of them didn't explode, and to this day people find unexploded armed ordnance in their backyards. If we translate this to GRU-P, we need to add the fact that this ordnance can have razor sharp teeth, be able to teleport instantly, phase in and out of existence, end the world by a twinkle in its eye.

-GRU Division "P" Hub

Comrade Stalin is dead. We have no need to keep Hitler here. No point in wasting bullets on him, he does not die. Just bury him discreetly.


More than twenty million Soviets died in that war - friends, siblings, lovers. Not a soul in Psychotronics, not even the chain of command, was eager to build another weapon so soon.

Perhaps we even caused our own downfall.


They’re all dead now. If they are to be held to account for their part in this, it is by a judge far grander than any in Washington.

We were young and idealistic. We thought we could win the Cold War ourselves, decapitate the American empire. We thought we could be heroes.


She is not state property. She has a name.

"And do you think the Americans understand what powers they meddle with? Do you think they have any inkling of what this 'atom-bomb' can do?"
"I know that one does not make deals with atom-bombs. One certainly does not sacrifice little girls to them."


We operate in total secrecy. The KGB doesn't even know that we exist, which we like to think of as an impressive feat, however sad it may be that we aren't permitted to brag about it. Technically, we shouldn't be permitted to be alive.

-Incident 0401-42-III - 'Chornobylska Katastrofa'

So come watch the show, come feel the magic! After all, what do you have to lose?

-Herman Fuller Hub

Now, colleagues of mine may have had less than enjoyable experiences in the freak show, but my ride was smooth as silk. Know why? Because I behaved.

I learned as a boy that it is much better to do what you are told than to go without supper. And I was told that showtime is 7:30 in the evening.


"A liability? Come on, I'm the best fucking clown breeder ya got and Mr. Fuller knows it."


"What, ya think all freaks are just born that way? Body does a lot of growing when young. Just got to help it along a certain path - course, back then you could only make a hunchback. Nah, they deserve more credit. I mean, the Laughing Man, Turtle Boy, hell, the Inside-Out Girl? They was done the old way."


"You don't turn a seven-year-old into a clown over night, you know."


I just am. I mean, you can spend your nights lying awake, wondering about what went wrong, or even if something went wrong at all, but in the end, here I am. And I don't have a body that sticks together the way yours does. So what? I'm alive, I can feel, I can talk, I can sing. I'm fine, unlike most of the people who come to gawk at me.

-Herman Fuller Presents: The Living Head

I found the boss' tent and introduced myself. I lied about my age, of course, and I told him flat-out I wanted to be a freak. He spent a good fifteen minutes looking me over and asking me questions - can you juggle? Can you sing? Can you wrestle? Do you know any magic tricks? He wasn't too keen on hiring someone with no experience, but once I convinced him I wasn't just wearing a costume he said he could pay me and find a place for me.

-A Jester's Tale

The Horizon Initiative

When will the Initiative be strong enough? When the pieces of the True Cross are burned to fuel a Fifth ritual? When the Menorah is smelted for gears? When the Kaaba is shattered by heathens?

-Fire on the Horizon

How do you explain to someone that the world is dying, and that only they may save it?

How do we make you understand what is at stake, when the only way you could see is to let everything your organization ever did go for the word of three old men? That is too much to ask even of righteous men, and we are not yet certain you are such.

Help three old men make the world young again. Don't let it die.

-Djoric-Dmatix Proposal

The Initiative, for all of its missteps and blasphemy, has provided undeniable proof of God's glory. Proof that has to be withheld from the world due to inscrutable agreements with occult forces who do not have salvation in mind.


Technically, it wasn’t a Christmas party. It was the “Completely Secular and Non-Denominational Winter Celebration of Fellowship and Goodwill towards Mankind (Please Check Your Attitude and Weapons at the Door)” party.

“I am a Pakistani-born British Muslim who is working alongside a motley array of Christians, Jews, and sundry other faiths to fight the horrific things that lurk in the dark corners of creation.”
“I should think that by now I would have a fine-tuned sense of irony.”

-People Look East

God spoke to humanity in the desert, and just now we are able to piece together His words.


“I, Lono, swear upon my honor and by my power, to uphold this oath with the Horizon Initiative: that I shall raise no hand to harm, nor take any unfair advantage of, mankind. As symbol of this oath, I present to the Horizon Initiative this sweet potato, blessed by my power. May this friendship last until the end of time.”

-Crossing the Streams

“You’re going to destroy the greatest discovery in human history, the tool by which God spoke to man, and on top of all of that murder scores of innocent people, all to preserve the world as you imagine it to be! Are you really so fragile of faith that the first challenge drives you to murder?”

-The Tick Tock Gospel

Those Members joining our ranks shall provide assistance to any human being that requires it to the best of their capacities, with the utmost dedication and no restriction on the resources they may use to fulfill this duty, including the usage of Abnormalities in all their varied aspects, for as long as they are part of this Foundation. They will do so without any consideration of gender, race, ideology, religion, social status or abnormality in those they assist.

-Manna Charitable Foundation Hub

Helping out the HOMELESS is the most important cause a wealthy citizen such as yourself can donate to? After all, what if it was YOU stuck on the STREETS, eating nothing but GARBAGE and DEPRAVITY? That is what the HOMELESS in CHICAGO go through every day! Imagine having to crawl on your belly, through a whole LOAD of WASTE MATERIAL, just to eat A SINGLE BEET? THIS IS WHAT REAL LIFE IS LIKE


I’ve exercised the proper amount of caution, I promise you. I won’t make a mistake like the one you made. I understand why you are afraid, but we cannot allow ourselves to be held back by fear of
The product is fully safety-tested, and holding the product back any longer would be irresponsible. It works. It is safe. I can promise you that.


"In a moment, you're all going to wake up. You're going to give me everything I ask for, you're going to remember that I gave a stunning and very convincing presentation, and you're all going to have a nice God damned day for once."

-A Disturbance

I don't trust you. - anonymous

After living thre years in the ruins of mi old house, the Charitable gave mi a hom.
Now mi family and I can live in peace with a place to call ar own. A place with water, a clean, safe > place with four beds and a batrom.
I can ever thank you enoug for what you did for mi and mi neighbors.
Bles you. : ) - (hidden by MISSIONWATCHADMIN)


-Third Vesta Donation

The way it came out was miraculous. Last month it was an empty lot, with MCF operatives handing out food and clean water and offering medical services. The operatives were still there, working out of a fully-functioning concrete building. Lights, air conditioning, everything working perfectly. A fully built hospital in the middle of a Somali refugee camp should have been a beacon for masses of humanity, writhing and shuffling and pushing one another as they sought desperately needed aid. A beacon for hope and humanity.

So why was it fucking empty?

-Best as it Gets

Dead Is Manna,
From Which Bones And Flesh That Drank From The River Of The Dead Gods Sprout Back Into A Now
Verdant World
But We Shall Never forget Manna And What Manna Did For Us
Because Manna Loved As We Love
Because Manna Dreamed As We Dream
Because We Are All Alike
Because Manna Helped Us,
And What Can We Do But Share That Same Help With All Of Their Children?


Why do rich people care about making money?

[…]Value is artificial. The poor spend their pennies on mass-produced china, convinced that it has some worth to it. The rich convince the middle class that diamonds are rare and valuable, despite the stones being retrieved in Africa by the billion. Marshall, Carter and Dark convince the rich that the impossible is invaluable, while any anartist on a street can twist a die into a hypercube.

With a glance, Marshall, Carter and Dark could level a city, bankrupt a country; with a single call, they could plunge the planet into a thermonuclear war. Yet, to the eternal relief of all, they are the least volatile players in the anomalous field.

-Marshall, Carter and Dark Hub

As valuable as it may be, we at Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd. feel that it is in our mutual benefit, meaning us as well as the SCP Foundation, that this remain in your safekeeping. We usually retain a level of impartiality for what our clients do or do not do after the closing of a sale. However, in light of a few isolated incidents regarding our clients' intentions with this particular device, and their affiliations by and large, it is safe to assume that selling said item would be a poor business decision on our part.
Nobody enjoys being a teller at a bank that is under threat of robbery every waking moment. In short, keeping the item in inventory is more trouble than it's worth; exceedingly so. So for the sake of famous landmarks, monuments, certain nations, our continued enterprise, and quite possibly the sun or moon, we hand this over to persons more experienced and adept at locking things away from the world.

Please accept our gift, free of charge, from us to you.


Sacrificing a human soul is hard work. Those with experience will tell you, it's never as easy as you think it's going to be. Maybe you need an innocent soul but you can't bring yourself to kill a child. Maybe you need to sacrifice a warrior but you don't want to lose people bringing him in. MC&D understands your difficulties. It's why we've started to develop artificial souls like this one.

Alan has spent his entire life yearning for his own freedom and the freedom of others. He's a genuine rebel with a pure heart. His value to any number of entities is incredible, and what those entities can do for you is even more amazing.

We're not selling you a person, we're selling you an opportunity to live the life you deserve. Be smart enough to take it, because ambition is nothing without sacrifice.


Dear Sir or Madam,

Marshall, Carter, and Dark sincerely regrets the unfortunate death of your child during the recent events at our Happy Acres Youth Camp. The loss of a loved one is never easy, even when anticipated, but it is harder still when they are taken from us far too soon.

We offer our sincere condolences and deepest sympathy on your loss. May the outpouring of sympathy, the kind acts of friends and strangers, and the comfort in knowing that your loss is felt by many help you through this difficult time.

As a gesture of support, we are refunding all fees charged to you for your recent stay at our Diamond Mountain Resort in the form of a certificate of store credit.

-Operation "Camp Granada"

I do hope that you will take my message to heart. Fate may have set us at odds, but that does not mean that we have to accept it.

With All Due Respect,

A Nobody

-Nobody Hub

So kid, you didn't do it. You tried to take the skip in alive, but Nobody got in the way. Said some mysterious crap, I'll come up with that, and then left before we could stop him. Maybe jumped off the rooftop. He does shit like that, after all. He's Nobody.

Is he real? I dunno, kid. Ask him yourself sometime.

-Nobody Knows

"No, no, that's fine, you're going to forget this conversation anyway. They always do, and at this point I've stopped caring. It's fine, really. I mean, I'm not all that important. In the end, I'm just a Nobody, after all."

-Cryogen's Comment Tales

Everybody needs help sometimes,
And Nobody answers the call,
Everybody has to be Nobody once,
Or nobody will be at all.

-A Poem for Nobody

On this side, he is referred to as Nobody. One can call that name a play on words. A joke of words. A slice of humor within words. But really, it is just a reminder that people make jokes when they're uncomfortable.

Nobody looked around him in the land of almost-things, alone.

-To The Dreams He Is No Nobody

"Hush now. I am Nobody. You can call me that."
"Is that your name, or not your name?"
"I don't think there is much a difference."

-All Words Are Lies

Protect our people. Protect our nations. In all times, this mandate will always stand.


The Nuqtavi conception of reality, its interconnectedness, and their desire for the abrogation of Arab rule and the inauguration of ajami rule are thus extremely dangerous. It is only by luck that they had chosen this poetic manner to inaugurate their changeover; the death of the king who thwarted their last attempt at victory in order to usher in their ultimate triumph.


He was so good at keeping his secret, and if anybody could keep his secret at the place where he worked, the center of red-blooded Americanism, working for the patron saint of Christian manhood, surely he could keep it from everyone else around him.

He stood on the sajjāda, turned towards Mecca, and began to pray.

-Of Mats and Masquerades

"And your Arabic is flawed, son. 'Muslim' translates literally as 'one who submits to God'. The linguists would call that an active verb, I believe. It requires an actor, requires action. An active participant. A maker of decisions. You have become a Muslim as an act of faith, an act of choice. But whatever it is, it is an act. You have not fallen into Islam; no one does, no one can."

"You weep like a child. That is an observation, not a critique. Children weep because they spend years learning what the world is, learning these rules for living among other people through trial and error. And they spend much more time in error than not."

-Of Teachers and Taxicabs

If we are to truly follow our mandate of protecting our people and our communities, we must begin by protecting those minorities who are the most vulnerable among us. The intent of the Daesh militants towards the Yazidis is nothing short of genocide, as my Operatives in this region have witnessed time and time again at Qataniyah, Sinjar, and elsewhere.


If you can dream it, you can do it.


Am i awake?!I never tried imagining where all the teeth that break in dreams go. Turned out they were in my dad the whole time. Thanks Oneroi!


We understand you have been using our products for the greater good. We do not mind the sacrifice of our world and our physical bodies for that sake. After all, we have transcended flesh and become icons of inspiration.

Nevertheless, we wish your organisation may credit us in your efforts for the greater good. The recommended course of action is to indicate the source of this modified technology (Oneiroi Astral Synchroniser v3.0). We will reserve the right to withhold further usage if service continues to be uncredited.

-Project Morpheus

Pattern Screamers

I will howl and shriek at the emptiness and until the waves of force I create rips open an exit from this hell, and then I may be able to find the truth, the one fragment of logic and reason in this unending sea of madness and despair that is my existence!




Will you look if we all scream together?


The Pattern. The perversion that demands that life submits to order. The inversion of the spiral of ascension. The command that all things be no more than the sum of their parts.


[Sounds similar to construction work] [Order, patterns]

[A minute of static with random fluctuations in volume]

[Whale whistles] SCREAM


When you approach it, you will start to hear it. So faint it might be nothing, or less. But a noise. Something queer has happened. Human minds have evolved to see patterns where there are none, so when cast over a space where there is nothing at all, the mind begins to create something from nothing. What you hear is something rudimentary, an almost imperceptible sentience. It is a flash along the edge of the void as our minds attempt to perceive something that isn’t there. And it hates.


A pattern had emerged. So foreign, so alien; it spun upon itself into an infinitesimal point, deeper than could be perceived, pulling in light and sound and Being and producing form. The Spiral kept pulling. It grabbed and contorted, spread and consumed. Tore at abstraction. Instituted order. A sensation arose across the All that was and had ever Been: pain.

It began to scream.

-Paradigm Shift

Prometheus was no god.

That's something that many people forget or do not understand. He was neither a god nor a man, but made of older stuff. He was a titan.

Prometheus granted writing, science, farming, medicine, and math to the humans, his children. The gods granted suffering and demanded sacrifices. When did Prometheus ever ask for a burnt carcass in his honor?

With study and intuition, the mystical becomes common. No sacrifices are needed, and no blood is given. The doors of the universe are opening to us ever further.

-Prometheus Lab Hub

The demand for exorcisms greatly outstrips the capabilities of human religious institutions.


"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

— Sir Arthur C. Clarke

"Technology is neither good nor bad; nor is it neutral."

— Melvin Kranzberg

"To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction."

— Sir Isaac Newton

-Third Law Hub

The Wound, cut from the flesh of totality - deep, it severed the line of future and past. Drawn to its ancient fester, gods swarmed as flies to a corpse. We waited within bloodless veins, faithful to that which we could not know - unable to imagine that we might become their greater.

"I have gazed upon the Faceless Ones, servitors of His Undulating Vastness. Their chief is blind - castrated by our words and will. He sings songs of anarchy but they will not come again."

-Sarkicism Hub

I have completed the descent of the fifteen steps and the ascent of the steps of [illegible]. And it is the sacrificing priest who renews me, casting off the body's coarseness, and, consecrated by necessity, I have become a spirit.

I am Ion, Grand Karcist of Adytum, and I have borne an intolerable force. For someone came at me headlong in the morning and dismembered me with a sword and tore me apart, according to the rigor of harmony. And, having cut my head off with the sword, he mashed my flesh with my bones and burned them in the fire of the treatment, until, my body transformed, I should learn to become a spirit. And I sustained the same intolerable force.


All around you is tinder for the Gods.


When she tells me about Ion, I feel like a child again - listening to my baboushka talk about Jesus and the old prophets. Whimsical, and like her, skipping over the parts that involve glorified torture and murder.

Five talks about honor, friendship, virtue, and liberation. The gentle reindeer folk of Adi-um against the evil Daeva. She's old, but I take it the faith changed long before her; maybe she has begun to interpret the texts differently. Maybe she's wrong, seeing good under layers of madness and atrocity.


"Desire is the measure of all things. Be unbound from moral tethers. Do as you will, to whom you will."


If the world were like that of an oyster, then we are the slime surrounding the pearl, forming the pearl. We create the comic-men stumbling through the woods to some glory we know not what.


33 "You are nothing more to me than a fly on the wall—complete irrelevance. 34 I desire no aid from you, nor from any other; all that I have received has produced only future misery. 35 I have walked a lifetime upon the path of suffering, and I will walk upon the path of suffering for lifetimes yet to come."

61 And they drew lots and butchered the unfortunate among themselves, consumed their flesh, and satiated themselves. 62 And some of them said, "In the distance we cannot see the spires of Adytum; what is the meaning of this?" 63 (Now at this time the number of the Thracians was a thousand; at first there were ten thousand.) 64 So the wanderer said to them, "Do you not tower above this barren land, as the spires of Adytum once did?"

80 Surely when one feasts upon mortal flesh, one should in exult in the glory of the self, 81 but when one feasts upon divine flesh, one should exult in the glory of the gods.

85 And the man said, "The house was burning, 86 and the flesh was burning, 87 and the senses were burning, 88 and the mind was burning. 89 But I myself was never burning."

-The Parables of Pseudo-Nadox

For a moment I experienced oneness with the universe. There was no sense of harmony. No spiritual bliss. There was only the clarity of pain. I had become some small variable in a cosmic organism of inconceivable size - some undulating vastness of unintelligent cancer.

I saw a Red Leviathan rise from a black sea; the longer I watched, the more I began to realize that this monster and its dark waters were one and the same. I remember turning my gaze to the stars, perhaps seeking some solace in their familiarity.

"Flesh and form. The flesh is transmutable. The form is malleable. To change is to exist."

"The gods do not change. The gods do not exist. Not truly. But they wish to. The void screams for a mother that will never come. Life is drawn to the Void like flies to decay. The Void wraps itself in sinew and bone and blood; a facsimile of life. The Void is a god-shaped hole. It knows nothing but hunger."

-An Anthropological Approach to Sarkicism - Case Study 01: The Vaśńa of Sarvi

We are a movement, unified by a common belief: That humanity and all the other peoples of the known worlds do not deserve to be kept in darkness and ignorance.

There's no special way to join the Hand. There are no secret rituals done in basements or closets. We hold no elections for our leaders. If you want to become a member of the Serpent's Hand, all you have to do is decide you are a member of the Serpent's Hand.

To the heralds of traditional power such as the SCP Foundation, the Global Occult Coalition, and most world governments, the anomalous is a slowly spreading poison, threatening to destroy everything civilization has worked so hard to create.

The anomalous itself is not a threat merely for existing. Yes, it presents danger, but so do germs and meteors and forest fires. Suppressing knowledge of something will only make it more dangerous, and keep all of us huddling, frightened, in the dark.

When normalcy starts hurting the people who have to live under it, to try to cure a 'poison', normalcy is itself the poison.

-Serpent's Hand Hub

"The Garden is the Serpent's Place."


The divinities of fear and order who come to walk in the cool evening air are only visitors. Do not fail to see the evil hiding in the light, nor the aromatic beauty of the palest flower of darkness.

-Security Breach Incident X23

One might assume their inner ugliness will foul their outer appearance as well, but we must remember that Lucifer was the most beautiful of the angels.6

6. Is it necessary to be so Judeo-Christian? One of the advantages of being in the Hand is exposure to many other venerable traditions. — X. A.

The Devils tend to persecute those Hand sects which are considered more "radical", specializing in religious persecution. They do this because they may be assured of aid from the more sheep-like Hand members, who oppose both religious rights — such as ritual human sacrifice, prisoner mutilation, and slave trafficking — and grander aims such as community Works and Rituals to change the world for the better through appeals to the Divine.

-The Conspiracy Of Sigma 3

Because we're all American. None of us are some little hooligan you had to recruit because they were in the right place at the right time. We've got pure Americanism, through and through. I'd trust a real American with this sort of thing a lot more than some agency riddled with outside influences.

-Unusual Incidents Unit Hub

Over the years, the Unusual Incidents Unit of the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been the subject of several kinds of mockery, from being compared to sub-par but influential 1990s television programs to being outright called "UIUseless".

-The UIU Series With No Name Hub

“Well, it’s either that watered down stuff, or we can get about two months of normal coffee before we run out and have to wait for the department to write up the next budget.”

-UIU Files Chapter 1

I once took orders from a pizza delivery guy. Didn’t even realise he was from Spicy Crust Pizzeria until it was all over.
That is why we’re a joke.

-UIU Orientation

“Dammit, there has to be something we can do. We must know something, right? We have some sort of budget, even if it's fucking nothing. We're FBI agents. That means something, right?”

-First Day

I am writing to you today to express my great sorrow for the loss of your [RELATION], [DECEASED]. [DECEASED] was killed honorably in the line of duty on [DATE], while attempting to save the life of an innocent held hostage by an unknown attacker. The loss of an officer is always a great tragedy, but it is especially hard when an officer was as close to us as your [RELATION]. [ENTER SOME WORDS OF PRAISE HERE].

-Text of a Condolence Letter - Federal Bureau of Investigation, Unusual Incidents Unit

Hello, pardner! It looks like you fine fellow have found yourself in Clackamas County and the town of Boring, Oregon, that can claim to have the least fitting name in all of the United States — except maybe Hell over in Michigan.

-Wilson's Wildlife Solutions Hub

It's funny to think that one of the biggest threats to human life comes from something other than an SCP. We've got one of those fancy "XK- End of World" scenarios in just a few years if we let our honeybee populations die out at their current rates! I've got some fun little facts to throw at you. Did you know that bees are responsible for pollinating one third of the world's food supply? Or that in the last winter, 23.2% of our honeybee colonies died out? All these fuzzy friends doing the downward dive means that soon we're going to follow.


The work you and your center do is highly appreciated.

Additionally, please refrain from using non-encrypted emails to contact us. Instead, I request you use the email address we have provided you with.

Thank you.


In light of recent events, the operating staff at Wilson's have decided it may be for the best to keep information about Wobbles under wraps. If you do not have permission from myself, Alice, or Audrey, please hit that 'X' button at the top right of the screen and check out any of the other Critter Profiles.

I'm being serious here folks if I catch you reading this without permission I will send you home early without pay. I don't want to do this, but believe me, I will.

-Critter Profile: Wobbles!

"And considering the fact that it is… somewhat questionable, having a recognized face take action rather than us, a 'shadowy organization', should remove a few of the road blocks."

-Population Control(led)