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SCP-1573 - Kids These Days / この頃の子ら

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1573.jpg

SCP-1573.

アイテム番号: SCP-1573

オブジェクトクラス: Safe

特別収容プロトコル: SCP-1573はサイト-77にある標準的収容ロッカーに保管します。SCP-1573を扱う職務に割り当てられた職員は、認可された研究を除いてメキシコの████████の町に立ち入ってはなりません。SCP-1573の影響の対象となっていることが判明した者は、忠告(標準的な記憶処理の効果を受けないため)の上、████████の外で開放しなければなりません。同町内の財団職員は、3年齢未満の全ての児童を、異常な性質が見られないかどうか観察しなければなりません。SCP-1573の影響を受けたDクラス被験者が当該エージェントと同行し、誰の子供の知覚がSCP-1573の影響を受けたかを特定するために月齢解雇を免除されます。
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1573 is to be held within a standard containment locker, located within Site-77. Personnel assigned to work with SCP-1573 are never to have been within the town of ████████, Mexico, outside of sanctioned research. Any subjects found to have been affected by SCP-1573 are to be counseled, due to the ineffectiveness of standard amnestic treatments, and released in an area outside ████████. Foundation personnel within the town itself are to observe any children under the age of 3 for anomalous properties. One D-Class subject affected by SCP-1573 is to be kept with these agents, and spared monthly terminations in order to identify children of whom SCP-1573 affects their perception.

説明: SCP-1573は内部が空洞になっているセラミック製の像であり、重さはおよそ3キログラムです。像は人間の乳児の頭部を数本の頭足類の触手の上に載せた形をしています。████████の町の外にいる間は、SCP-1573の影響の対象となった者はSCP-1573による効果の一切を受けません。
Description: SCP-1573 is a hollow ceramic sculpture, weighing approximately 3 kilograms. The statue depicts the head of a human infant, mounted on top of several cephalopod tentacles. When outside the town of ████████, subjects affected by SCP-1573 do not experience any effects caused by it.

SCP-1573と物理的に接触した人物(以下、対象者)が████████に入ると、11年齢未満の様々な児童を知覚しはじめることがあります。この知覚改ざん効果は同町内で生まれた児童に限定されており、それ以外の町から来た子供や████████の外で生まれた人物が異常を訴えたことはありません。対象者は「これらの存在が自分と意思疎通を行い、自分が同町に在住しており子供がいる場合を除いて、身体に深刻な傷害を負わせると脅迫してくる」と主張しています。対象者は、子供が、子供の身体の形をした黒い煙で隠れた小さくやせ衰えた人型の影のように見えると主張します。
If subjects who have come into direct physical contact with SCP-1573 enter ████████, they may begin to perceive children under the age of 11 years old differently. This perception-altering effect is limited to children native to the town, as foreign children and those who were born outside ████████ will not be reported as appearing abnormal. Subjects will claim that these entities communicate with it, threatening to inflict severe bodily harm unless the subject settles in the town and has children. Subjects will claim to see children as small, emaciated humanoid figures obscured by dark smoke in the shape of the child's body.

SCP-1573の影響を受けた対象者のうち、同町内で子供をもうけたか子供が生まれたものは、その子供をSCP-1573と同様の見た目を持つ寄生性のヒト型存在として知覚します。対象者は自分の子供が常に自分の体内にいると主張し、最終的にその子供を殖やすために病気になって死亡します。対象者はなぜこのようなプロセスが可能なのか説明しませんが、同様の主張は子供が11年齢になるまで続き、その時点で子供の存在を認めようとしなくなります。子供は予期される通りの振る舞いを見せます。
Subjects affected by SCP-1573 who have their own children conceived or born within the town may perceive them as a parasitic humanoid, with an appearance similar to SCP-1573. They will claim that their child is constantly within their bodies, causing them to become sick and die in order to propagate itself. Subjects will not explain how this process is possible, and will continue to profess this belief until their child is over the age of 11, at which point they will refuse to acknowledge the child's existence. Children will display expected behavior.

SCP-1573は、████████に端を発する奇妙な先天性異常に関する数件の報告を当該地域に滞在していた財団職員が受け取ったことで、1959年8月11日に回収されました。報告にあった異常は一切見つからず、代わりにSCP-1573の影響を受けた人物が██名発見されたことにより、SCP-1573は異常物品として分類されました。
SCP-1573 was recovered on 08/11/1959, after reports of bizarre birth defects originating in ████████ reached Foundation personnel embedded in the local area. After finding none of the reported defects, but over ██ subjects affected by SCP-1573, SCP-1573 was classified as an anomaly. Local residents directed them to SCP-1573, claiming that several of them had been delivered to the town, but all except one had been destroyed due to accidents1. After amnestic treatment proved ineffective, affected residents were relocated, and SCP-1573 was contained. In addition, the body of a man identified as the one who delivered SCP-1573 was found outside the town, buried in a shallow grave. As of 09/02/1959, it has been classified as Safe.

Addendum: Document recovered from the body found buried outside the town.

Hello, friends. theres a lot of strange things lurking in the desert, and we all know that. but soon, they might be moving in. hope this helps you spot them when they get here

Addendum: Overview of ████████, Mexico.

The town has a population of 1,229 residents, and is located █ miles from the nearest major settlement. It was founded in 189█, and until 1958 had a population of under ███. It is believed that following the arrival of SCP-1573, there was a small population boom, which nearly doubled its population.

It is to be noted that as of 07/11/1975, the population of ███████ is still primarily under the age of 15.

Addendum: Incident 1573-A:

On 8/19/1975, during routine medical examinations of D-4561, who had been stationed in ███████, it was found that she had become pregnant. Due to the fact that D-4561 had previously been determined to be sterile after receiving a hysterectomy, she was sent to Site-56 for observation. After a normal gestation period, D-4561 went into labor on 5/22/1976. During the delivery, it was was noted that the baby appeared to have mutations similar to those described by D-4561 when referring to children in ███████. DNA testing showed [DATA EXPUNGED] Xenobiologists have been stationed within ███████, and investigation is ongoing.

Senior Staff Shenanigans / いたずら上級職員(翻案: いたずら大戦争!)

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「悪いな、急だったのに会ってくれて。」

「いいんだ。ここだけの話、明けても暮れても素人の相手をするのは退屈だからね。」

「そうだろうな。ほら、もうすぐ俺たちのささやかな記念日だろう? それで思いついたんだ、俺の同僚にお前の手伝いを頼めるかもしれないって。そのあたり、ほら、分かるだろ? いくらか大目に見てやってくれるとありがたいんだけど……。」

「君、僕に守秘義務を破れって言うの? それは気がとがめるよ。」

「まさか! そんなこと考えてないさ。でもお前は多分、言うなれば、規定の条文について"可能な限り最も広い解釈"ができるかもしれないってことだよ。」

「あの猿を手に入れたいんだね?」

「あれを持ってきてくれたら、見返りになにがほしい? あの猿が永遠に俺のものになる代わりに?」

机の後ろにいた人影が合図をすると、机の前側にいた背の低い方の男が前のめりになった。彼は相手の男の耳元で囁いた。

「面白い。そんなこと思いつかなかったよ。あと、言わせてくれ。俺は財団で働けてとても幸せだし、当分の間転職は考えない。その上お前がそれを申し出てくれて本当に嬉しい。Let me make a proposal of my own. In exchange for the aforesaid professional courtesies leading to temporary possession…」

"Since you bring it up, what compensation would you want, in exchange for my permanent posession of said monkey?"

The humanoid figure behind the desk beckons and the smaller man before the desk leans forward. He whispers something in his ear.

"Interesting. Not at all what I'd expected. And I must say that, while I'm flattered that you offer, I'm very happy to work for the Foundation, and don't contemplate a change anytime soon. Let me make a proposal of my own. In exchange for the aforesaid professional courtesies leading to temporary possession…"

It takes some time, but eventually the human and the entity wearing the face of a legendary law professor reach an agreement. A secretary is summoned from the accounting department, sworn to secrecy, duly threatened with death, and made to witness an agreement that bursts into flames the moment the formalities are complete.

Sheldon Katz and the entity shake hands.

Across the site, in a specially rigged broom closet, Junior Researcher Gille watches the Senior Break room on screen, then 682's pen, then his office, then back to the break room. Nothing. Wait. Something.

Something rushes into the room, something about knee-high and very fast, something with a single bright blue eye in the middle of its bulbous yellow body. It's dribbling a smaller object in front of it like a soccer ball. As it pauses on the periphery of the circle of paintball guns, the "ball" comes to rest. It's a statuette of a monkey.

Researcher Veldi runs into the room, panting and red-faced. The Eye-Pod skitters away from him. Veldi lunges, and a chase ensues around the edges of the room, with the Eye-Pod and the monkey always staying just out of Veldi's reach.

After four circuits of the room, the Eye-Pod makes a sudden break to the right. Veldi leaps, trying to tackle it, and trips over his own feet. On the floor, he hears a series of clicks followed immediately by splatting sounds, and wonders for a moment if he somehow missed some tomatoes. He picks himself up, and observes that the walls of the break room have a new paint job in the style of Jackson Pollock.

The Eye-Pod scurries out of the break room and heads down a corridor, rolling the monkey down the hall still. Gille jumps up from his seat and sprints down the hall. He figures if he goes down corridor 37, then makes a sharp right just before the firehose he can head them off—yes! Here they are, and he's just a pace behind Veldi. He drops his head and starts running as fast as he can.

"You think that's funny? I hate running," says Veldi between gasps.

The researchers sprint after the Eye-Pod, neither gaining any real advantage or getting any closer. They follow it now left, now right, now a long straightaway and into a dead end, a small chamber at the end of a long corridor. Gille jumps on the monkey and Veldi jumps on Gille. They grapple on the floor, neither noticing the Eye-Pod backing out of the room until they hear the door start to close. Gille looks up just in time to notice a third figure in the room: humanoid, but made of concrete and covered in spray paint.

In the awkward silence that ensues, the disappearance of the monkey barely registers on them.

Finally Veldi says: "I've got to blink on three. One…two…"

Katz notes the monkey statue that now sits atop his empty inbox. He's already senior staff, but his secretary is out sick and nobody from the temp pool can seem to ever type up his briefs just the way he likes them. He looks through the stack of neatly-formatted documents before him and nods in satisfaction. Yes, the devil will have his due, but he does love a nice-looking brief. Worth it.

He picks up the monkey and goes into the hallway outside his office, waiting for someone going in the right direction who looks sufficiently junior and sufficiently gullible. Soon enough, a cub researcher who he doesn't recognize passes by, and Sheldon intercepts him.

"Excuse me, young man, could I ask a favor? Someone left this in my office and they need it for a team-building exercise in the main cafeteria. Just take it up there and someone will show you what to do next."

He feels slightly bad, watching the eager youth hurry down the hall with the monkey, but better him than Sheldon, and in any case this will teach him a number of valuable lessons.


Doctor Briar sighed, looking over the contents of his small office. It had been a long, hard road to get here. So many times, he'd thought he would die. So many times, he had lost what he thought of as "everything", only to build himself up so he would have something else to lose when the time came again. It had certainly not been easy, but he'd managed, somehow…

He always wished it could have been easier, though. If only there had been some way he could have made his journey to a respected member of senior staff without having to endure so much suffering. Of course, he had only been a low-level recruit in the Foundation when they stopped holding the Staff Prank Wars. He had heard of them, of course, and how the cleverest member of the Foundation's personnel stood to be raised to Senior Staff for winning. It was truly a shame that he had been so new when they held the last of them, an all but nameless lab assistant, not trusted with anything more important than proofreading documents…but then, that was his advantage, wasn't it?

Briar smiled, looking at the assembled items and documents sitting on his desk. At the top of the pile was a death certificate. Just another Foundation employee that had finally met his end, but to the elderly man at the desk, an opportunity. After all, permanent ownership didn't extend past death. Most importantly, however, was the small locked box on top of the pile. There were so many anomalous objects with temporal effects in Foundation custody that they hardly bothered to catalogue them all. No one would notice he had "borrowed" SCP-█████ among a batch of other research materials, and the letter he planned to mail would not be going anywhere that it would be looked for. Chuckling to himself, Doctor Briar took out a fountain pen, and began to write.


Years earlier, a much younger version of the same man breathed heavily, hiding in a cubical and shaking. In his hand he held a much-folded piece of heavy parchment, written upon in flowing calligraphy. Nervous, he muttered the words aloud as he re-read the page, "Volunteer to assist in accounting. Short-staffed due to people calling in sick to avoid the contest. Agree to witness a contract. False name. Render null and void…"

He shook his head in disbelief, dizzy with the implications. It couldn't be that easy, could it? Of course, he had barely dared believe what he held in his hands until the prank war began to unfold, exactly as the note claimed it would. Still, it seemed too good to be true. A deal with the Devil shouldn't be so simple to thwart, even if it wasn't really the Devil. Of course, the plan wasn't over yet. Just botching Katz's deal wouldn't much of a prank by itself, after all. Steeling himself, the younger Briar stepped out of the cubical, and announced that he was going on his lunch break. As he entered into the corridor, he put on a ring, and pulled out the small electronic device from his pocket.


At the doors of the cafeteria, a young researcher was stopped by a polite cough. He turned, his face guileless and smiling. A dark-haired man snatched the bundle out of his hands before he had a moment to react.

"Oh, thank goodness I caught you in time! I am SO sorry! It seems that my colleague gave you the wrong article by mistake. This is the one they need in there."

A small device was pressed into the researcher's hands. He babbled for a few moments about how glad he was to help, and how sorry he was that the other man had to chase him all the way here. Briar, in turn, made his excuses, politely stating that it was no trouble, but he really had to get back to work. He gave the hapless researcher some basic instructions on how to set up the device, and told him to just "get it started for them". As he hurried to return SCP-399 to containment, he could hear his modified MP3 player begin to loop Rick Astley's most famous composition with enough bass to shake the light fixtures. The altered lyrics, bragging of the genius of one Sheldon Katz, could just barely be made out from where he stood. Since he didn't have an office, Briar made a note to check his locker later on.


A D-Class that had been fortunate enough to avoid all of the chaos of the day was desperately looking for a place to hide. He found an isolated cell, and quickly opened the door, failing to notice the number "173" emblazoned above the door.

The moment the door was fully open, he stepped through the frame. He saw two men on the floor, and then he looked up.

He recognized the sculpture a few seconds too late.

Veldi and Gille charged him, threw him in the cell, and quickly closed the door. The sound of bones breaking followed shortly after.

Veldi breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, that was fun. Next time, let's check doors before going in them. Don't want Blinky to be let out."

Gille was shivering from the experience. Veldi leaned down. "Oh, by the way… I think ahead." He pointed out that the wall opposite 173's containment had been painted red. Gille was still in a stupor, so Veldi walked away and pressed a button on his phone. A tinny, electronic voice came from above the door: "Leggo my Eggo-carrying Lego Winnebago full of–" The sound was cut short by a wall of tomato juice.

Veldi checked the video feed on his phone again. Yep, the monkey was on his desk. He figured that he should set some more traps so that it wouldn't stay away for long. He hurried to his supplies.


Link: http://www.scp-wiki.net/seniorstaffshenanigans
Created by: TheDuckmanTheDuckman, 2011, and others collaborated
Licensed under: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License


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出典: http://ja.scp-wiki.net/author:apple3 (apple3apple3さんのタグチャレンジ)
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  • 鳥(avian) - 鳥のような性質を持つSCPです。必要ならば動物タグと共に使ってください。
    • 動物(animal) - 動物的な性質を見せるSCPです。
  • 人間型(humanoid) - 人間型のSCPに付与されるタグです。
  • 木製(wooden) - 木材もしくは木のような素材で構成されたSCPです。生きており、加工されていない木が使われている場合はこのタグは付けられません。

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